How to Love Yourself

To love yourself it is not necessary to be tall, beautiful, buxom (or muscular), to have strong features or good hair. All of these things, however recommended, are not necessary. Although on the whole to love yourself it is better to be a woman, on occasion men have been known to do it; I have seen them. (That said, sightings of men who loves themselves realistically, despite or even against their egos, are increasingly rare).

To love your self it helps to have a good diet. Eating frozen foods or peanut butter out of the jar is not recommended, nor is sweeping food crumbs off the counter into your hand and then tossing them into your mouth. I suggest a moratorium on cheese Doritos and buffalo wings.

If you are serious about loving yourself—and many people are—then it helps very much to commune with nature now and then. If you live in the country, this is easy. You simply walk out the door and keep walking, beyond the mailbox, a half-mile will usually do.

For city dwellers the situation is less simple. Typically, you can resort to parks. If, for example, you know of an area of a park where there is a shady grove or the equivalent, I suggest you spend some time there, preferably with your back against a tree. Otherwise a pond inhabited by large swans or white geese will do. For some reason other kinds of animals always make us feel better about ourselves. I don’t know why.

Avoid going to the movies alone. Too much TV, too, is a bad idea. If you must surf the Internet, then surf away, by all means, but avoid pornography as it will bring you nothing but self-loathing and the attendant grief. The point is to love yourself, yes? How can you love yourself and fill your eyes with filth? Answer: you can’t.

To love oneself, one does not need to be a monk. In fact though good at loving God monks are not especially disposed to love themselves, so let’s drop that whole notion, okay?

An extra-firm mattress does not for self-love make. It may not hurt, but don’t think of it as THE answer.

Finally, if you really want to love yourself, I suggest that you engage in one or more of the following activities:

1. make a cup of tea
2. sautée vegetables
3. wear carpet slippers
4. call and joke with your mother

About Peter Selgin

Peter Selgin is the author of Drowning Lessons, winner of the 2007 Flannery O’Connor Award for Fiction, Life Goes to the Movies, a novel, two books on the craft of fiction, and several children’s books. His memoir, Confessions of a Left-Handed Man, was short-listed for the William Saroyan International Prize. His latest novel, The Water Master, won the William Faulkner Society Prize, selected by Random House Senior Editor Will Murphy. His work has won the Missouri Review Editors’ Prize, the Dana Award, six Best American Essay notable essay citations, and two selections for the Best American series. A second memoir, The Inventors, is forthcoming from Hawthorne Books in April of 2016. He teaches at Antioch University’s MFA program and is Assistant Professor of Creative Writing at Georgia College & State University.
This entry was posted in Dreaming on Paper, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to How to Love Yourself

  1. sautéeing onions are especially heart-warming to watch as their armored opacity transforms into translucency in their cauldron of the seething oil

  2. ... Paige says:

    Carpet slippers? humm I wander if the static build up is good for one self

    Loving one’s self begins with acceptance of imperfection and the fact that one is perfect at being just as one is.

    Hi, here by way of an awesome review by Linda of Left Brain Write of your novel “Life goes to the movies”

    http://linda-leftbrainwrite.blogspot.com/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *